Russian Roulette
by Angst Zombies
Summary: Russian Roulette, a deadly game of luck. Love, an equally deadly game of chance. Axel always messes up, but Demyx always forgives him. What happens when Axel does something unforgivable? Will Demyx take him back after they've had time to reflect?
1. A Praise Chorus

**Disclaimer:** Axel and Demyx belong to Squeenix. "A Praise Chorus" is by Jimmy Eat World. We don't own anything. Don't sue us, we're broke.

A big thanks to our beta, shimaspawn! **ENJOY** (and review)!

Love: Red and Dodge

x-x-x-x-x

Ah, spring in California! It's warm and muggy, and when you live in Los Angeles, it's hot, muggy and smelly. One especially notices these things when walking home--be it from work or, in a certain redhead's case, band practice. Axel trudged along, the guitar case strapped to his back proudly proclaiming "Fuck you" scrawled in messy white letters that were chipping in places.

The sound of his heavy booted footsteps and his bondage straps clicking together echoed off the damp air and alley walls around him. His fire engine red hair that was normally spiked in impossible ways fell limp in his eyes. Hours of sweating at band practice had started to kill the spikes; the damp air had finished it off.

Grumbling to himself about smelly people--an odd thing from someone who didn't smell too good himself, he pulled his keys out of his pocket and unlocked the door to the house he shared with his boyfriend. He set his guitar down near the door while kicking the door closed. Kicking off his boots behind him, he walked into the apartment.

"Demyx! I'm home." He called, as he rounded the corner into the living room. The blonde was sitting on the couch, which faced away from the entrance to their house and looked out the window--and consequently towards the television.

Demyx didn't stir as the door slammed shut, nor did he respond as Axel called his name. He was staring--as he had been for the last hour or so--at a piece of paper which sat in his hands. It was a letter. Beside him was the almost unrecognizable envelope it had come in, partly shredded from the haste with which it had been opened.

His blond hair was falling out of its faux-hawk, locks coming down around his blank face. His lips moved silently as he re-read the words for the billionth time.The redhead frowned. This was not the welcome he'd become so accustomed to; the one where his blond boyfriend would bound out from one of the rooms and greet him at the door with affectionate kisses.

Circling around to the front of the couch, he discovered that Demyx was staring at a letter. So hard that Axel was worried he'd burn a hole right through it with his mind. Sitting down next to the blond, he slung an arm over the back of the couch. "Whatcha got there, Dem?" he asked. Curiosity had won out over annoyance.

"I got in…" his light voice was full of disbelief. "I…I thought I messed the audition up, but…I got in…" He was torn between whoops of joy and sobs of frustration; so much so that nothing showed on his face but a vague look of shock. He passed the letter to Axel, blinking dazedly at the redhead.

Taking the letter, Axel read it over once, twice, even thrice until the message finally sank in. Demyx had been accepted into UC Berkley school of music, an incredible feat considering how high their standards where. He threw his arms around the blond's neck.

"Dem! You did it! Christ I'm so proud of you!" He praised, ruffling his hawk affectionately. Demyx gave a little laugh, leaning into Axel's hand. He was excited. Hell, he was really excited! It was the opportunity of a lifetime! But… He savored the feeling of Axel's fingers in his hair. If he went, he'd miss this terribly.

"Axel…" He stopped, not knowing what to say.

The redhead's smile fell a bit. He knew the tone in Demyx's voice; something was bothering him. But what could possibly be bothering him? He'd gotten into UC Berkley; he'd been positive that he'd fouled up the audition yet his accepted letter was clenched in Axel's hand.

"Dem, why you frownin'? You're supposed to be celebrating!"

Demyx nodded. He should be, but there was still... "Yeah, but it means I'm gonna have to live out there." He pointed out quietly.

Axel's smiled faltered; he bit his tongue to keep himself from swearing. He was supposed to be excited for his boyfriend, not thinking about himself and how he'd be lonely. Some things just can't be helped though.

"Oh...yeah." He paused and rubbed the back of his neck, looking down and frowning, "And I can't go with you.."

"Yeah," Demyx replied softly. He hadn't expected him to. Axel's whole life was in this city: his band, his friends, everything he'd ever known. He'd barely left it ever and Demyx couldn't take him away from that. "We…could try the long distance thing." He suggested after a moment of somber contemplation.

Axel closed his eyes and chewed on his lip ring--a habit of his that meant he was deep in thought. He reopened his eyes and looked at Demyx, acid green staring into ocean blue. "I'd do just about anything for you." He paused and nodded, "We'll give it a try."

Demyx's face lit up. It would be hard. Things like that always were. But he wouldn't be losing him. And--well shit, he'd visit every chance he got. L.A. wasn't that far from Berkley... He leaned forward, kissing Axel, then pulled back smiling.

"Great. Now that that's settled, what say we celebrate?"

There wasn't much that Axel wouldn't do to keep that beautiful smile on his boyfriend's face. He'd find a way to get the moon, stars and sun if it meant that smile was turned in his direction. The redhead smiled back and leaned forward pressing his forehead against Demyx's.

"A celebration is indeed in order," he said, laying back and pulling his boyfriend on top of him, "and I think we should start by getting in as much personal time as possible. Then maybe we can call up the boys and go to the bar."

"I like personal time!" Demyx grinned, settling his knees on either side of Axel and trying not to giggle. Axel always put a smile on his face. His smile softened and he leaned down, kissing his boyfriend hard, trying not to think about how much he would miss this. Miss him.

Axel looped his arms around Demyx's waist and kissed back just as hard. They were both trying to ignore the fact that soon enough they wouldn't get to kiss or hug or touch at all. They could think about it when it happened; for now, the redhead was determined to enjoy his blond boyfriend's company as much as possible. Starting right now.


	2. Save Tonight

**Disclaimer:** Axel and Demyx belong to Squeenix. "Save Tonight" is by Eagle Eye Cherry. We don't own anything. Don't sue us, we're broke.

A big thanks to our beta, shimaspawn and to XFamousXLastXWordsX for the favorite! Also, a big thank you to our reviewers!

**ENJOY** and review!

Love: Red and Dodge

x-x-x-x-x

It was here; the day they'd been dreading for the last few weeks was really here. The two lovers had crammed everything Demyx thought he would need into Axel's tiny car and were driving to Berkley. On a normal day, the radio would have been blasting a punk band's CD while the redhead sang along and tapped his hands on the steering wheel. Today he was silent, hands gripping the wheel so tight at times that his knuckles turned white. He wanted nothing more than to turn around and go home, but he wouldn't. He was not going to keep Demyx from his dreams because he was selfish.

Demyx was having a silent freak out. His mind was so full of reasons to just turn around and go home. He was scared of starting college, a new school in a new city with new people and nothing familiar to ground him. More terrifying, there would be no Axel. He hadn't consciously realized how much he depended on the older man for love and support. Part of him was screaming at him for leaving the best thing that had ever happened to him behind. But…this had been his dream for years. He had to do this. He couldn't rely solely on Axel forever--and it wasn't like they were breaking up and would never see each other again.

The redhead's mind wandered on the drive. Though he would never tell Demyx, he was worried about this long distance business. Ever since he was seventeen, he'd been physically involved with people and now he was giving all that up. He had no idea how often he'd get to see his boyfriend since the blond didn't have a car and he knew dam well that his car wouldn't be able to take the trip back and forth as often as he would like. Axel stared hard at the other cars and the road as if he was blaming them for all this. He would never blame Demyx, not in a thousand years.

When they reached the dorms, it was a quick matter of unloading the car, drawn out because neither was in a hurry. This was it, their last day together for who knew how long. What have I done? Is this really what I want? Can I really do this? Thoughts like these cascaded through Demyx's mind as they stood at last in his room, all the boxes unloaded and scattered around. Demyx's roommate hadn't shown up yet and probably wouldn't until the day before school started. He glanced at the bed, then up at Axel, a forced grin on his face.

"New bed," he pointed out in what he hoped was a cheerful voice. A childish voice in him pointed out that he didn't want a new bed; he wanted to go back to theirs. "Wanna break it in?"

Axel knew his boyfriend's smile was as forced as his was, but dammit they were both trying to be cheerful about this. He eyed the new bed then his boyfriend then the bed again. It would be their very last chance to starve off the loneliness that was sure to follow, so he nodded and grinned. "Sure, babe, rather have you break it in with me than some other hot stud."

Demyx snorted, a bit of real humor finally sparking in him. "As if," he muttered, grinning, like he'd be interested in breaking his bed in with anyone else. Besides, who was hotter than Axel? Turning, he reached up, snagging Axel's collar and pulling him down to his level, pressing their lips together hungrily. Axel responded in kind, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend's waist then hoisting him up. The redhead carried Demyx to the bed and set him down, managing not to break their kiss. It was going to be a long night in the best way possible.

The next morning dawned, light coming in through the window to fall across the two tangled up together on the bed. Demyx shied away from it miserably, knowing that they couldn't put it off any longer. Axel had to go home--back to L.A. and his life--and Demyx would stay here. He clung to his sleeping boyfriend a little more tenaciously, determined not to cry until he was gone. It would just make it harder for him.

Axel opened his eyes and regarded Demyx through bleary eyes. Fuck, it was morning already? He didn't want it to be the next day because that meant he had to go back to L.A., to the house that wasn't going to feel quite like a home without his loving boyfriend around. Maybe he could just close his eyes and pretend he hadn't woken up, but that wouldn't be a good idea. He had a show tonight.

Feeling Axel stir, Demyx's heart sank into his stomach and he glanced up, catching sight of open green eyes before they closed again. Axel didn't want to leave any more than Demyx wanted him to, but it was inevitable. He sat up a little and kissed his boyfriend good morning, no matter how far from good the morning felt to him. He shut his eyes against the hot prickle of tears that threatened to make themselves known.

Axel sat up and ran a hand through his tousled spikes, wiping sleep from his eyes with the other hand. His boyfriend's blue eyes were closed; he grimaced when they reopened and regarded him--he was near tears. The redhead had to look away. If either of them cried now, he'd never be able to leave. He swallowed and looked back. "Morning," he greeted, finally finding his voice.

"Morning," Demyx breathed, fighting away the urge to cry, and untangled his legs from Axel's. "Wanna grab breakfast or…" Do you have to go? I don't want you to go. Please stay…I lo- He cut his thoughts off, pressing his lips against Axel's neck, none of that.

Axel looked at the clock. "I should go soon if I wanna make it home for my show tonight," he sighed softly and closed his eyes, wrapping his arms around Demyx's neck. God dammit, if he didn't get up soon then he never would. Standing up, he pulled on his pants and shirt.

"Ah, right." Demyx smiled a little, getting out of bed as well, pulling some pants on. Just a little longer. He followed Axel out into the main area to the front door. "Kiss me goodbye?" he asked quietly.

Axel turned and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, kissing him softly. He shut his eyes tightly; he wouldn't cry now. He broke the kiss and leaned his forehead against Demyx's. "I'll come visit you soon as I can, okay?"

"You'd better," Demyx murmured, trying to smile. "M'gonna miss you so much babe…" He kissed Axel once more and then pulled back. He wasn't gonna last much longer. If he didn't leave, Demyx was going to start sobbing and make this whole thing even harder than it was. He couldn't do that to him, so he smiled.

Axel kissed Demyx's forehead. "I'm gonna miss you too." He had to go now; no goodbyes, no final kiss--he gave a wave then turned and walked out to his car. Once he was safe inside his car, he slammed his fist on the steering wheel. "Fuck!" The redhead slumped forward and rested against the wheel, tears finally streaming down his cheeks.

The door shut and Demyx hurried back into his room, collapsing on the bed. It was still warm where Axel had lain, and that detail was what finally undid him. Wrapping his arms around the pillow that still smelled faintly of his boyfriend, he began to sob. This was going to be even harder than he imagined, he realized, as the lingering warmth faded. Oh gods, it was going to be hard.


	3. Killing Loneliness

**Disclaimer:** Axel and Demyx belong to Squeenix. "Killing Loneliness" is by HIM. We don't own anything. Don't sue us, we're broke.

A big thanks to our beta, shimaspawn! And also everyone that has favorited, watched and reviewed!

**ENJOY** and review!

Love: Red and Dodge

x-x-x-x-x

"Excuse me," Demyx murmured apologetically, turning to see the girl he'd accidentally bumped into. He hadn't been all there a lot lately. It had been over a month since he'd seen Axel last, and it was beginning to wear on him. Even talking on the phone as often as they did, he still ached to see him in the flesh again. He had been preoccupied thinking about him and not watching where he was going.

"It's ok." The girl smiled sweetly. Petite, with long, slightly wavy brown hair, twinkling innocent gray eyes, and a soft rosy complexion, she was lovely. Demyx hardly noticed as he smiled back. "My name's Adelaide. It's nice to meet you."

"I'm Demyx. Aren't you in the choir?" Demyx asked, suddenly remembering her face. She nodded, looking pleased.

"Yes I am! Are you in a music program?" She asked, interested. He nodded.

"I'm in the band," he replied, smiling. She smiled back.

"I see. Well, Demyx, it was nice meeting you. I have to go now, but um…if you'd maybe like to hang out some time…Could I give you my phone number?" She asked shyly. Demyx nodded, not really thinking about the deeper implications of what she was saying.

"Sure." He said giving her a friendly smile and taking out his cell phone. She quickly recited her number and said her goodbyes, blushing slightly. As she ran off, Demyx turned away, smiling to himself, then stopped, blinking. Oh…oooh. She liked him. He shook his head, and headed home. That was a shame; he'd like to be friends with her. Maybe she'd understand if he explained he had a boyfriend. A boyfriend who he never got to see…He sighed, his thoughts becoming gloomy once more.

Axel had tried. He'd tried so god damned hard to be loyal and make this whole long distance relationship thing work. But loneliness is a difficult adversary to overcome; particularly when you're a certain redhead with an alcohol problem who's used to being near his significant other at all times. Axel had given the odds a good run for its money, but the odds won.

At first, it was easy. He'd missed Demyx so much that he couldn't even look at another person without feeling the hot prick of tears behind his eyes. Eventually the feeling had faded; occupying their house by himself and sleeping in their bed alone got easier. Soon enough, Axel was looking at others again and craving the attention. He needed the physical comfort that only another human being could provide.

It happened after a show; he was so drunk he could barely stand and she was just another girl that wanted into his pants. They went back to the house he and Demyx had made a home and in one night, he turned his home into a house again.

As the girl left in a huff from the nasty things Axel had said, he called Demyx. Tears were running down his face as he banged his head on the wall over and over while waiting for his boyfriend to pick up. He'd never questioned whether or not he should tell the blond what he'd done. Demyx deserved the truth no matter the outcome.

Demyx picked up his phone, putting his pencil down and smiling. Not many people called him after all, so it was probably Axel.

"Hello?" He asked brightly.

The redhead had almost hung up, but then his boyfriend had picked up. The cheerful voice he was greeted with just added to his guilt. Quickly finding his voice, he spoke up. "Hey Demyx, it's me," he responded softly.

Demyx frowned. "Axel? Hey babe, what's wrong?" he asked, wondering over the quiet slightly choked tones of his boyfriend's voice.

For several minutes Axel was silent unable to admit to his loving boyfriend what he'd done. Doing so would make it real and he didn't want this to be real. He wanted to brush this off as being just another elaborate lie, just like he did with his alcohol problem.

"I..." He started only to choke up, "I cheated."

Demyx's smile fell away. "What…?" What was he talking about? Cheated? Cheated at what? His mind couldn't process, couldn't understand. What did Axel mean: cheated?

"I cheated on you, Demyx. I slept with someone...else." Axel's voice left him. He mentally chastised himself. How dare he use his boyfriend's name after uttering someone else's name in bed. His lips were dirty now and he had no right to say Demyx's name.

Demyx was silent for a long time. His brain was screaming denials even as hot tears prickled his eyes, spilling over onto his face in twin unchecked streams. He was lying. He was lying. Why would he tell such a cruel joke? He--he wouldn't… So he was telling the truth?

"Oh…" His voice was quiet and saturated with grief. He bit his lip hard, the phone shaking in his grip. "Please don't call again." He hung up quickly, his face dropping onto his arms on his desk. Sobs tore from his throat and his shoulders shook. He was angry, and hurt, and he felt sick. How could he?! He slammed his fist into the desk, but couldn't feel it. The pain in his hand was dwarfed by the pain that was forcing deep heart-rending sobs from him. How could he…

Axel kept his phone held to his ear for several minutes, the dial tone echoing sharply, until it slipped from his hand and hit the floor with a soft thud. "...fuck." He muttered softly as tears ran down his cheeks and dripped off his chin. Nearly half an hour later, his phone rang. The redhead snatched it up quickly and answered thinking it was Demyx. Mikey, his best friend and singer in his band, was on the other end.

After much coaxing, he finally talked the depressed Axel into leaving the house and going out for a few hours. Mikey promised that it would be good for the redhead to get out and be around people. A night alone with his thoughts would just make things worse. But parties like the ones his friends threw are never good for relieving a man of his thoughts, nor are drugs.

Demyx spent the night locked in his room with his thoughts. By the time morning dawned, he had not slept and seriously considered just staying home. Instead, he hauled himself up and to the shower, shoving his hands in his pockets. He pulled a bit of paper out of one and looked at it. Adelaide's number…He stared at it for a bit, thinking. He needed to get out… He picked up the phone and dialed, clearing his throat.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Adelaide? This is Demyx. You busy today?"

Axel woke up the next morning on the couch at his band mates' crappy apartment. His head felt like it was screwed on wrong and his mouth was dry. The room swam before his eyes as he reached out for someone who wasn't there. Then it hit him like a kick in the nuts, he couldn't reach out and hold Demyx anymore; he wasn't Axel's boyfriend anymore. The redhead bolted upright and buried his head in his hands, sobbing miserably.

Adelaide was a sweet girl, Demyx discovered. Gentle, pretty, petite, unabrasive. She was almost the exact opposite of Axel in every way. She was also fun to hang out with. They had a lot in common, and Demyx might have enjoyed himself if his insides didn't feel like a venomous snake was having its death throes in his abdomen. He hurt so much, but oddly enough, Adelaide's presence soothed it ever so slightly. He smiled for her, unwilling to let her see his pain. She deserved more than to be a rebound girl, but he needed someone to be there for him right now--even if they didn't realize how just being there was helping him. And as she took his hand shyly as they walked home after going out for dinner, he thought maybe. Just maybe…


	4. I Miss You

**A/N:** We're really sorry we made you wait so freaking long for an update! There is no real excuse except for that school and conflicting schedules what with having two writers and a beta. Dodge will be beta-ing now, so if there are any spelling or grammar errors, blame her. Thank you for all your wonderful reviews and demands to update. Now that summer is here, we're going to do our best to update more regularly.

**Disclaimer:** Axel and Demyx belong to Squeenix. "I Miss You" is by Blink-182. We don't own anything. Don't sue us, we're broke.

**Enjoy** and please review. Maybe if you poke us enough, we'll keep updating. :D

**Love: Red and Dodge**

x-x-x-x-x

Axel stared at a ceiling plastered with flyers from shows his band had played over the years. He'd called this room his long before he'd ever met a blond teenager named Demyx who'd knocked his life on its ass. Now, it was his again. He'd moved out of the house in favor of living with his band mates again.

It felt good to be somewhere familiar and to have people around. No more living in an empty house with no one to drag his ass out. His band mates were never hesitant about dragging him to a party, shoving a beer in his hand and introducing him to some cute girl. He spent more time drunk, high or fucking than anything now.

He was a mess.

Demyx lay next to Adelaide, watching his girlfriend sleep. She was so pretty, so sweet...and he was such a fucker. Because she was an amazing girl and deserved so much better. Because he liked her a lot, but he didn't love her. He had tried saying it once when she was asleep like this, but the words had sounded hollow and false coming from his lips. He never said it out loud. He knew if he did, she would hear it in his voice--hear that he didn't mean it--and would leave.

He needed her still. Needed her to make the pain go away. Because even now, lying beside her in their bed, he remembered Axel. Axel, who'd been the greatest thing to ever happen to him. Axel, who crushed him with just an act and a few words. He had to stop thinking of him. Maybe if he could stop thinking of him, he'd be able to say the words Adelaide deserved to hear and mean it. He knew, even as he thought it, that it wouldn't be that easy.

He hated himself so much at that moment it made bile rise in his throat.


	5. Call Me When You're Sober

**A/N:** Because it took us so long to update, we're putting up a few chapters. Enjoy.

**Disclaimer:** Axel and Demyx belong to Squeenix. "Call Me When You're Sober" is by Evanescence. We don't own anything. Don't sue us, we're broke.

**Enjoy** and please review. Maybe if you poke us enough, we'll keep updating. :D

**Love: Red and Dodge**

x-x-x-x-x

Another night in a crappy part of the city in a makeshift apartment. Five friends sat around the main room looking at each other, all lost in their own thoughts over what had just happened. Their band, that had been together for nearly six years, was done. Over. ...finished. Their lead singer was moving to Vancouver on a whim and, thus, leaving the band. After much discussion, they'd come to the decision that it was best to just end the band.

A redhead got up from the couch and went into his room, closing the door quietly behind him. What did he do now? He'd lost the only things that mattered to him: first his boyfriend, now his band and best friend. He slumped down onto his mattress and buried his face in his hands. He wanted to cry, scream, break everything he owned, but the cold creeping over him kept him from doing anything of the sort. Instead, he drank and hyped himself up until he couldn't feel anymore.

One a.m. rolled around and Axel was staring at a number in his hand. He'd found it days ago, but he'd been hesitant to call. The last time he'd talked to Demyx, he'd told him to never call again. But now, he had nothing. He'd shoved his pride away and admitted to himself that he needed Demyx, even just as a friend. Grabbing his cell phone, he dialed the number.

It was fortunate Demyx was a light sleeper, and more fortunate that Adelaide wasn't. He jerked awake quickly at the first ring and snatched it off the receiver.

"Whoever this is had best have a really damn good reason for calling at one in the morning." He growled, his voice husky from sleep.

Axel nearly hung up hearing the tone of Demyx's voice. He froze, his stomach doing flipflops inside him and his heart jumping to his throat. He hadn't heard that voice in months. His mind was screaming for him to get a grip, shaking his head, he cleared his throat as he tried to recall how to talk.

"Hey Demyx."

Axel… Demyx's eyes widened and he very nearly hung up. Instead he got quickly to his feet and left the room, shutting the door softly behind him so as not to wake his sleeping girlfriend.

"Axel…why the hell are you calling me at one in the morning?" Or at all… He tried to sound angry, but ended up sounding tired. He sat down at the kitchen table, cradling his head in his hands and the phone against his ear. He should just hang up…but Axel was crying…he could hear it over the phone in the way he'd said his name…he hadn't heard him say his name in so long…

The redhead was so overjoyed that Demyx was even giving him a chance, he'd once again forgotten how to speak. He cleared his throat several times trying to rid himself of the ball of nothing stuck in his throat. He needed to speak up soon or the blond might hang up.

"I.." he started, choking back a sob, "f-fuck! I need you."

An icy feeling filled Demyx's stomach at that. He wanted to stay angry. He wanted to yell at Axel and tell him not to call him ever again. He wanted to tell him how badly he'd hurt him and how badly he was still hurting because of him. He wanted to cry again, but…but…

He sighed. As much as he wanted to hate him, he wasn't sure he really could. He missed him so much it was almost like a physical void in his chest. But he couldn't talk to him like this. Axel wasn't in his right mind, he could hear it in the way his words stumbled out and slurred.

"All right Axel, calm down…Look, call me tomorrow. Sober up or whatever…" He wanted to clap a hand over his mouth, but couldn't. Instead he gave Axel his new cell number. He'd changed it when they broke up to stop this exact scenario from happening.

Axel smiled despite himself. Something in his mind was telling him that this was a good sign--Demyx still cared about him, but he was too preoccupied with basic functions to think about it. He wrote down the new number and nodded, though he knew Demyx couldn't see the gesture. "Okay. I-I will. Promise and...thanks."

"Sure…Bye." Demyx hung up and buried his face in his hands. "What am I fucking doing?" He whispered into his palms. He'd told Axel never to call again. He'd tried to break things off as cleanly as he could so he'd never hear from his ex again. He…wasn't sure he could take hearing him again. He dropped one hand to his chest, fingers clenching a little in the material of his shirt. He had a girlfriend damn it! A sweet girl who'd never hurt him like Axel had. He couldn't hurt her in return just because he was still stuck on a man in L.A. He dropped his head to the table and closed his eyes tightly.

He didn't sleep.


	6. El Mañana

**A/N: **Last chapter for today. We have a few more chapters ready, but those will be our buffers while we work on upcoming chapters. Just out of curiosity, which would you rather see: a happy ending or a sad ending? We have both planned out, but we're not telling which one you get to see.

**Disclaimer:** Axel and Demyx belong to Squeenix. "El Mañana" is by Gorillaz. We don't own anything. Don't sue us, we're broke.

**Enjoy** and please review. Maybe if you poke us enough, we'll keep updating. :D

**Love: Red and Dodge**

x-x-x-x-x

Axel stared hard at the clock. Ten minutes. Ten excruciatingly long minutes until he could call Demyx. He tossed his phone between his hands nervously, never taking his acid green eyes off the clock as he repeated the blond's new cell phone number over and over. He'd memorized it hours earlier, but he just wanted to make sure he hadn't forgotten. He doubted he ever would.

The clock finally read one p.m. and the redhead jumped up, unable to sit still any longer. It had been exactly twelve hours since he'd called Demyx for the first time since they'd broken up. With a grin, he dialed the number and paced as he waited for the blond to answer.

Demyx jumped, snapping out of the light doze he'd fallen into under one of the trees on campus. He looked down at his pocket which was ringing away cheerfully and swallowed hard. This was why he was so tired after all. He'd been up all night agonizing about whether he'd done the right thing or not. Giving Axel his new number. Letting him call… He realized belatedly that he'd already pulled the phone out of his pocket and answered.

"Hello?" He cringed at how uncertain his voice sounded.

Axel quickly hid the smile as his four friends gathered around the door of his room. They all wanted to know why their redheaded friend had suddenly pulled himself from his funk. New booty call? New boyfriend? None of them expected the actual answer.

"Hey Demyx." He spoke up, trying to keep his cool. He stopped pacing and leaned against the wall, as they both babbled on, trying to catch up. Axel told Demyx about recent shows and Mikey's decision to move to Vancouver. He left out the drugs and alcohol, though he was sure the blond could have guessed after last night.

It was odd in so many ways, talking like this. Like nothing awful had happened between them and like they hadn't just spent several months not speaking. But here they were, chatting away about what'd been going on in their lives, both leaving out bits and pieces, like Axel's new substance safari, Demyx's girlfriend, and how much they wished things hadn't happened the way they did. Demyx told him about a couple things the band had done, how a few bands had actually expressed interest in having him join when he finished school, how one of them was based in L.A.

Addie never came up.

The entire conversation Axel avoided telling Demyx why he'd called him in the first place for fear of looking like a fool to his friends. He began pacing again before twitching and finally cracking. He just couldn't keep up this act anymore, friends be damned. He hadn't called to chat, he'd called to get Demyx back in his life, even if they were just friends.

"I miss you." His voice cracked with the tears that were threatening to fall.

Demyx hesitated. He'd been half fearing, half anticipating this. His answer however required no thought.

"I miss you too…" he replied softly, hating himself for knowing it was true. He missed Axel so much, but Addie…He didn't want to hurt her…but it wasn't like Axel was asking him out again. And it wasn't like he was accepting. He was just stating a fact. He missed him. After all, Axel had been one of his best friends even before they'd started dating. He'd been there for him. Given him somewhere to go. Saved his life even. He missed him.

Axel broke down, the tears cascading down his cheeks as he sat on his bed. He honestly hadn't been expecting this. He thought Demyx would just tell him to go to hell, hang up and that'd be that. How stupid of him, he should have known better. He should have known **Demyx** better. The Demyx he knew and loved couldn't really hate anyone. And despite his tears, he smiled.

"Stop that." Demyx murmured, a tiny smile evident in his voice. "You're gonna make me bawl too." Hot tears prickled behind his eyes, but he didn't cry. He just cradled the phone against his face with one hand, knees drawn up, and a small smile on his face. It felt so ridiculously good, just sitting here listening to Axel. Like a drug addict who'd been deprived for months and had just gotten his first fix. It was a guilty and beautiful pleasure and he wasn't sure he could bear it when reality came back into focus. When he would remember that Axel had hurt him, that Demyx had left him, and that Addie was waiting for him at home with no inkling that he couldn't love her like she loved him.

"Dem, I know you gotta get to class soon but...Can I call you often? Like.." Axel paused. He sounded desperate. Scratch that, he was desperate. For the first time in months, he actually felt like smiling and he needed that. He needed Demyx. "Like every day?" He finished.

Demyx actually chuckled. "Yeah man. I'd like that." It was true too. The bell rang and he sighed. "I've gotta go now. I'll talk to you tomorrow." No doubt about it. He stood, grabbing his bag and slinging it over his shoulders, painfully aware of how reluctant he was to hang up.

"Okay. Later." Axel responded, trying not to sound as excited as he felt. After hanging up, he collapsed back onto his mattress and let out a happy laugh. His friends just shook their heads and walked away as the redhead laughed and cried at the same time.

Hanging up, Demyx was once again forced to ask himself, "What the hell am I doing?" Reconnecting with his best friend? Well yeah, but he wasn't naïve. He knew very well that he was still ass over teakettle for Axel. He also knew that if things progressed, people would probably get hurt all over again. Axel, him, Addie…he sighed and found an available wall, smacking his head on it lightly. He knew this was probably a really bad idea. But he couldn't really help it.


End file.
